You decided to separate, that it no longer works.
The children are still small and require a lot of attention and care and you too.
If you are reading this article and are considering divorce or have not decided whether to divorce or not, you should read this article because it may save you.
My father and I separated when our twins were two and a half years old and the eldest was 6 years old.
At the same time we both felt trapped and we could not stand another day with each other.
If they had told me what I knew I would go through, I would have waited.
In another two or three years, the little ones will grow a bit.
Yes, it felt impossible to pull even another day together and the relief was tremendous the moment he left the house and slowly I came back to myself but it was not a simple way. Especially when your partner decides to take revenge on you through the children and decides not to visit them.
On emotional emotional level it hurt very much because you want your children to grow up with Dad and in a normative or at least normative framework, but when he chose to move away, it caused serious damage to the children who are now starting to make their mark with our eldest son.
Think about it for a moment.
In the madness of divorce we are so busy with ourselves and wars and ego and survival, and often forget to take a moment, take time out, breathe and remember that there are also children in the picture who are being deported.
Which for them – their world fell apart.
That reality – as they knew it to this day – no longer exists ..
And if you have reached a situation where you are in prison and in legal proceedings, try to stop everything and examine the option of mediation.
Money comes and money goes.
There are no winners in divorce. Only losers.
I believe in trying to reach a solution through mediation, trying to consider each other and finish it quickly.
Otherwise it’s just dragging, and draining the life energy from both of you, even if you’ve taken a good lawyer, you’re there in being.
And it affects you in every area of life.
So, if you are a moment before – take a break, try to take treatment, maybe take some spice from one another, maybe summarize that one or two days a week you sleep outside the house and take some air, you have no idea how much it can contribute to the relationship.
It’s that you suddenly have room.
You do not have to ruin everything for that.
If you have decided to divorce or have already divorced, here are some tips on how to get through this with young children:
Divorce tips with small children
- Take things day by day. Do not plan or think too far, especially when it’s hard. When you wake up in the morning and do not have the strength to get out of bed, do simple tasks such as – now you have to dress the children. Now you have to prepare breakfast for them, now you have to take them to kindergarten. Try to plan your day with small steps that will allow you to lose too much stress and worry from the system. Tomorrow will come even if you do not worry for him. Try to enjoy the way.
- You didn’t sleep well at night? Try to complete a bedtime hour during the day, or even at work to take a 10-minute break and meditate. There’s a great meditation of an 11-minute chakra balance that I put on when I feel I’m out of balance. Just close your eyes and listen and wake up like new ones. promised.
Meditation to balance chakras with crystal bowls
Another great meditation is Esther Hicks, who calls Abraham Hicks. There is a section here with a high frequency. After a few minutes you will listen and simply let go of your thoughts, it will be easier for you. At first it is more forced, but with time the subconscious begins to believe and it affects your life. I try to listen to it every morning. Meditation for raising the frequency
- Learn to ask for help. Even if you are taking care of yourself alone for years who works alone, divorce with small children is difficult. Put your ego and pride aside and learn to seek help from family or friends. Even if they sometimes tell you not, most will tell you yes. Do not take it personally. Sometimes only two hours when the children at your mother or company will allow you some air for yourself – sleep, rest, finish urgent arrangements. Most importantly, it gives a sense of support that you are not alone in the world.
- Try not to divert the children against each other – try to develop a reasonable relationship with your partner with regular communication and without knives flying over the children’s heads – it produces a lot of stress and anxiety. Also, do not prevent communication and meetings of children from the partner, it will only hurt them in the future (of course, if the partner is normal and behaves properly).
- Regarding Support – Arrange for a close support circle. Whether through closed Facebook groups, close friends or family members who have been divorced and can be empathic towards you and give you a back, a hug and a listening ear when you are broken and collapse. Sometimes it’s worth a lot.
- And in the same breath, neutralize your life from people who do not really understand why you divorced and think that you are making a mistake and are doing everything to make you understand this. Stay away from them for a while until you get stronger from the inside, then it will be easier for you to get strengthened and renew the bond.
- Save a budget for a babysitter – a babysitter for divorced parents with small children is equivalent to a breathable air. Sometimes even an hour or two in the afternoon or in the evening or even on a Saturday morning will give you the strength to continue. It is important. Do not feel guilty. As they say on a flight in the event of an accident – put the oxygen masks first on you and then on the children. When the parents are calm, the children are calm. Even if they prefer to spend time with you. Find a young, experienced young babysitter to take them to the garden, buy them a popsicle, and take an hour or two with them to change energy. It would make them happy.
- Try to cultivate yourself – whether you are men or women, even if you have not slept at night, self-cultivation will improve your feeling. Do not wear sloppy and pajamas when you’re home. Take a shower, arrange yourself and it will make you feel much better with yourself.
- Date with people in your condition – with kids, so there will be much more understanding to each other and you can spent time together in the future with or without kids. Yes. Date.
- Take responsibility – without sacrifices. Even if your spouse behaves in the most unfair manner, be responsible for your situation. Even if you feel you have no control, you always have a choice of how to react. Whether to respond to war or to ignore it. Whether to let you be trampled or to set a limit, to demand what you deserve or to give up. Whether to sit around and deal with the exiles or divorced women all day and be angry with them or move on and let it be known with deep knowledge that in a few days the spirits will calm down and life will return to normal. Do not fall into the cube of victims. Even if there is no money, you can always find a job, even if it means going down in rank or salary or standard of living in order to work fewer hours and be there for the children more. Even if that means your career will be two to three years old, your children need you more than ever. Two more three years will be easier. promised.
- Remember that children grow up and it gets easier. Even if your children are now infants to toddlers aged 0-4 – this is the most challenging period there is. Remember that during the difficult moments, how much you wanted them, how much you expected them, remember that they are still children, and that their behavior may be more difficult and unbearable, but they also go through divorce and sometimes they do not really understand what is going on around them and react in their own way to relieve frustration. It will pass as you become more stable and focused and in your center. When they feel safe next to you, they will need less to release frustration and be more relaxed. Our children feel our energies.
- Let the teachers know about your situation and ask for more patience with your children in the near future. Ask if there are special things in the behavior or if they need a little more support.
- Try to have fun with the kids. Even if you are in a stressful economic situation, sometimes just going to the garden or walking in an hour’s neighborhood can make children very happy. They do not have shopping malls and special attractions to enjoy. A beach tour is also very relaxing and will do you good.
- Create a routine at home – especially with small children – Get them to return all the toys and toys at the end of the day, lift their dishes at the end of the meal and keep the environment as organized and organized as possible, it will be more pleasant for all of you To be in it.
- And finaly, take a deep breath. It’s hard, it’s intense, it’s emotional, but it’s getting better with time. Try to date again, to find new love and be optimistic as possible to get through your new life and self.