One of the phenomena that has become very common in recent years is women who go through a party after divorce and become stereotypical to lesbians.
These are normative women, family women who have been married for years or even decades to a man,
Had a normal family life and sex, had children and raised them, and then, after they got divorced, they suddenly rediscovered themselves in a relationship with a woman.
Sometimes they completely turn sides and become lesbians, sometimes they remain only bisexual and continue to attract for men, but prefer to move to live with a woman and conduct a relationship with a woman.
Sometimes it goes on and sometimes it passes after a while.
So what attracts straight family women to become lesbians?
I talked to a number of women who are mothers to try to understand the phenomenon, women who lived their whole life as straight women in all respects, women who have always been only with men and after divorce, somewhere around the age of 40, found themselves in a relationship with a woman.
There are several reasons for this – psychological reasons, genetic causes – heredity and environmental reasons.
Genetically predisposed – it’s something in our genetics, something innate, that we were born with. This attraction of women to women.
Some would say that women were always attracted to it and that it was there above or below the surface, but did not really let it be expressed or realized.
Some have always known that they were lesbians, but lived in secret with their sexual tendencies or repressed them.
Then, after living all their lives with a man after they divorced, following the sexual permissiveness that exists today and the fact that the whole subject is open, Their sexual inclinations and that made something inside out and burst out without being able to fight it.
It is like a person who is completely straight can not continue be arrtacted to the same sex, equally.
people of this kind suddenly attracted only to people of their sex and rediscovered themselves and their sexuality.
There are a number of psychological factors that can discredit our sexual attraction to one sex or another.
Projection – for example, a woman who has seen life all men who are bossy and violent and wanted warmth and love that she could not get from men, something inside her throws heat and love to women.
This is because these qualities are only for women, but they still need a man, so she will attract women with masculine qualities because in her perception unconsciously, there are no soft, warm and loving men, although reality shows us that they do exist.
Parenting – part of the environment – what parents project to the child
“Healthy” children are supposed to grow “by the book” with complexes that will allow their personality to develop in a “normal” way.
These two complexes – the Electra complex and the Oedipus complex – usually occur when the child grows in a normative environment in which the father is the father and the mother is the mother.
Electra Complex – A 4-6 year old girl who falls in love with her father.
Oedipus complex – a 4-6 year old boy falls in love with his mother and wants only her.
If a child has a lack of father figure and it is not genetic he will go with men because he needs this warmth and looking for her in the absence of a father figure.
A woman in the absence of a father figure may go into relationships with women, Or alternatively with men older than her.
In the absence of a father figure for a girl, this often happens when the mother is bossy and strong and the father is weak and the division of roles is the opposite.
In this case the child will still grow out of a need for warm and enveloping feminine energy, and will search for her in a relationship with a woman.
Part Two – Denial –
According to Chinese theory, a person as a person is half feminine and half masculine. Sometimes it is unbalanced, and it can also lead to lesbian bias or a tendency to be gay.
We were born bisexual.
An egg and a chicken.
The dosages on the scale of who is more or less belong to the dose of the same withdrawal that is in denial throughout life and usually breaks out at about age 40, which is also the age at which there are cognitive changes that in many cases cause divorce.
Today it is easier for young people to follow their sexual tendencies.
Everything is open and exposed, gay parades have become commonplace, and so is public affection or intimacy in same-sex or LGBT couples.
Women around the age of 30-40 today are much more sexually open and therefore more open to experimentation.
Even when a woman goes through a divorce, she sometimes needs to try new things and sexual curiosity can sometimes lead women to experiment with other women.
A woman who has repressed tendencies and was in a place of raising children as a mother may find herself connected to a woman after she has divorced, a woman who can accept, contain, speak the same language and frequency, and then the relationship can be more harmonious and adaptive on the one hand, and much more emotional and hormonal on the other So if there is no strong base and neither side is male or female, it may not last.
There is also the place of repression that speaks of burying the deepest of these tendencies and denying.
The girl who married and always had a part in the face that was attracted to women always knew she had an attraction.And then if she gets divorced, then it might erupt after an experience.
The divorce is a kind of knockout to re-choose who I am, what I am, what I love, and experience. Enlightenment is important – there is an attitude that the energy we live in today has become more feminine.
There is less energy of occupation and dictatorship and much more “democracy” and dialogue.
Women have more room to bring themselves to expression, to develop, the energy is much less masculine.
The woman is no longer the small, cowardly woman who stays at home.
Women are looking to fulfill themselves and at the same time maintain their delicate and pleasant part that also allows them to experience new things.
Experience begins from some experience that is easier to realize today,
Also at the communication level of talking about it and about it, accessibility at dating sites, curiosity.
Many people aged 20-40 today define themselves as same-sex.
Sexuality has become an open topic spoken especially by young people and sometimes there is a feeling that all the boundaries have been breached and yet it creates a diverse, colorful and rich population that can find one’s place in it even though older people find it harder to understand these places and accept them.
First sexual experience
Women can usually discover their true sexual orientation after the first sexual experience, often accompanied by many anxieties, confusion, excitement, and wondering.
After the first experience, most women can tell if that’s what they really want, whether it’s not for them or whether it’s nice as an experience from time to time, when their main tendency remains with men.
And there are women who often come during the marriage of a great lack of emotion and then actually looking for this place of emotion that they find in women who will wrap them .
The women who come from a more masculine place of control feel that they have a place to be in a relationship with a woman who wants to be controlled and looking for a man but With women’s soft qualities and then she turns to a relationship with a woman who actually fills this place.
Among us, women are often much easier to communicate and understand each other, most women have the best friend and when there is attraction and desire then it can develop into a relationship Another psychological aspect – the deprivation of a parent, children Greatly, women bring them many qualities of emotion and warmth and love that are often found in men, but not always in the belief that they will find a man who is soft enough, warm and contains for them, so they immediately turn to women to be blessed Maybe salvation will come from there.
If a woman comes from the heat and love of the male side – father, mate, she may find herself with a woman.
You really have to check out where sexual attraction comes from and reach a situation where a woman is in a place where there is harmony between you and yourself and that you love and accept yourself and from this place will It is easier to tell whether this is a real attraction or a passing trend.
It is necessary to check from somewhere where these qualities of gravity come from – whether it is genetic, projection, heredity, something around, what really ignites the spark to go to the other side, against all conventions and against the current.
What we have today actually incorporates even the scientific level between the mind and the heart between a woman and a man, and it is worth doing a test whether when a fire It chooses the woman –
what does this place do to her and whether she can find these qualities in men or only in women, in order not to shock the system too much and to put the children into a different set of beliefs that may create complexes and environmental circumstances that will affect their sexual orientation When they grow up.